When children suffer mentally – why many parents feel alone (and where to find help)

"Something's wrong—but I don't know what to do."

Many parents know this feeling.

Your child suddenly withdraws.

Or is constantly irritable.

Or has stomach aches, but no physical cause can be found.

Or seems persistently sad, exhausted, or overwhelmed.

And then there's often something else:

The feeling of being alone with it.

Many parents report today:

• "I can't get a therapy appointment."

• "I don't know if this is normal anymore."

• "Everyone else seems to be handling it better."

• "I want to help my child—but I don't know how."

The truth is:

👉 Many families are currently struggling with similar issues.

👉 And: It's not a sign of failure if children are experiencing mental health challenges.

Why mental health issues are so prevalent among children and adolescents right now

The last few years have been exceptionally stressful for children and adolescents – and we are still feeling the effects.

Multiple stressors are converging

Many children are currently growing up with:

• After-effects of the pandemic (social insecurity, school problems, anxieties)

• Constant crises in the news and on social media

• Pressure to perform in school and leisure time

• Fewer genuine spaces for relaxation

• Constant comparison via social media

• Anxieties about the future (climate change, wars, economic insecurity)

Those currently most affected are:

• Adolescents from approximately 13–14 years of age

• Adolescent girls

• Children with chronic illnesses

• Children with family problems
  

How mental health problems can manifest in children (and are often overlooked)

Many parents expect typical symptoms like sadness or withdrawal.

But mental health issues often manifest differently, especially in children.

Common Warning Signs

• Irritability instead of sadness

• Stomach or headaches without a clear cause

• Sleep problems

• School avoidance

• Withdrawal from friends

• Intense pressure to perform / perfectionism

• Sudden outbursts of anger

• Self-esteem issues

Important:

👉 Occasional bad days are normal.

👉 Changes that occur over several weeks should be taken seriously.

The big problem: Finding help is often difficult.

Many parents are currently experiencing:

• Months of waiting time for therapy appointments

• Unclear responsibilities

• Overburdened healthcare system

• Too few easily accessible services
  

This creates a feeling of:

➡ Helplessness

➡ Guilt

➡ Shame

➡ Isolation

And this is precisely where an important point lies:

As a parent, you are not to blame for your child's mental illness.

However, you are a crucial protective factor – simply by paying attention.

What parents can do – even without an immediate therapy appointment

1️⃣ Relationship before solution

Children need first:

• Listening

• Being taken seriously

• No quick fixes

• No trivializing ("This will pass")

Helpful phrases:

• "I can tell you're having a hard time right now."

• "You can tell me anything."

• "We'll find help together."

2️⃣ Use your pediatrician as your first point of contact.

Many parents underestimate this.

Pediatricians can:

• rule out physical causes

• assess the urgency of help

• provide referrals

• stabilize and advise parents
  

This is especially important in cases of somatic complaints.

3️⃣ Involve the school

Many parents are afraid to do this – but the school can provide relief.

Possible contacts:

• Class teacher

• School social worker

• School psychological service

4️⃣Utilize low-threshold support services (even while searching for therapy)

For example:

• Telephone or chat counseling

• Family counseling centers

• Youth counseling centers

• Online services (as a supplement to, not a replacement for, therapy)

When parents should seek immediate help

Act immediately in the following cases:

• Suicidal thoughts or statements

• Self-harm

• Complete social withdrawal

• Refusal to eat

• Panic attacks with loss of function

• Prolonged school refusal
  

Then:

➡ Pediatrician

➡ Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

➡ Emergency Room (if acute)

What protects children most during stressful times

Studies repeatedly show:

• Imperfection doesn't protect children.

• Imperfect parenting protects children.
  

Instead:

• Reliable role models

• Emotional security

• Being taken seriously

• Being allowed to make mistakes

• The feeling: "I am not alone."

An important message for parents

If you're worried about your child, you're not an "overprotective" parent.

• You're attentive.

• You're caring.

• You're exactly what your child needs.

• And seeking help isn't a failure.

• It's caring.

Conclusion

The psychological stress experienced by children and adolescents is currently high – and many families feel alone in dealing with it.

But:

• There are ways to get help.

• Support is available.

• And parents can make a huge difference – even without immediate therapy.

The most important first step is often:

👉 Observe

👉 Listen

👉 Accept help